Messages from the heart ♥

Thief in the night

“What is your favorite thing you have given your SO?”

I answered this simple question today. And when I went to see what everyone else had answered, I noticed a few had answered with ‘my heart’. Now, it isn’t the first time I have heard that answer, but I found myself wondering why that was never an option for me. And that’s when I came to this sudden realization:

I never gave you my heart; you stole it from me.

You see, I couldn’t have given you my heart. I was just too afraid to, then. All I wanted to do was guard my heart, hide it far away from you. I thought I was doing a good job at it, too. What I failed to notice, however, was that the more I was with you, the lower my guard fell. I didn’t notice until it was too late.

Like a thief in the night, you stole my heart and the very next morning, I woke up and realized I was in love with you.

But you know what? I don’t care. If you offered me my heart back, I wouldn’t take it—I would only give it back to you. Because my heart is where it should be. And that’s with you.

Lighthouse

You are my lighthouse.

Whenever I lose my way, stranded in the dark and struggling with rough waters, you guide me through it all. No matter how hard the storms rage, you stand tall and strong for me; you shine bright even through the darkest and thickest of fogs for me. Even with the many miles between us, you manage to light up my path and save me.

Plain and simple

There’s so much I want to say, but what it all comes down to is that I miss you. It’s just as plain and simple as that; I miss you.

I miss you.

More than good enough

I’m not the most confident person when it comes to relationships—never thought myself good enough or worthy enough to fight for. It just seemed easier for people to leave rather than stay that I became accustomed to just waiting for everyone to get tired of me and disappear. I wish I wasn’t, but it’s what I’ve grown to expect.

But, you’re still here. You’re still with me.

Despite all that I put you through, you still want me. And it’s hard for me to understand why. I just don’t want to feel or think like this anymore. I wish I could just see why you think I’m so worth fighting for—to see why you love me as much as you do, because then maybe I wouldn’t be so afraid of losing you. And maybe then, I could finally feel like I’m good enough for someone. Especially for you.

I just… I want to be good enough. No, not just good enough. I want to be more than good enough. I want to be the best for you. It isn’t something that will come to me easily, not when I’ve spent so many years belittling my own worth. But, I won’t stop trying. I will never stop trying to better myself for me, for you, and for us.

I just need you to stay with me and help me along the way. So, please stay.

Hiatus

As many of you know, I have made the decision to study abroad. My plane takes off in just a few hours and I don’t know when I will be able to come back again. I may be gone for as long as two weeks or the entire month of May, but I will be coming back again.

The only difference is that instead of being in a long distance relationship of 1,511 miles, it will be over 8,500. Wish me luck!

Until then, I hope that all of you are able to stay strong and continue to love through the miles. Please take care of yourselves and loved ones. :]

See you all later ~

I must be on my way

The time has come. I’ll be making my way overseas to study abroad for the next two years or so. This past month has been a difficult one, but you have been there for me through it all. I know that this is hard for you, too, like it is for me; going from just being 1,511 miles to an even further distance isn’t exactly ideal.

But I want you to know that you are what gives me strength and courage. If it wasn’t for you, I would be terrified right now and in the verge of tears. But because of you, I’m not. It is your love that keeps me strong and brave. Know that I’ll be lonely without you, but you will never be far from my heart.

I don’t know when I will be able to hear or see you, and I admit that it’s probably a lot harder for me knowing that I may go on days or weeks before being able to see or hear you, but you’ll always be with me in heart and in mind.

I’ll see you soon, my love. We’ll be back to our usual Skype dates and silly antics in no time. I’ll be strong for you and you’ll be strong for me.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Forever and ever and always.

Thank you

From the very start, you have done nothing but support me in all my endeavors; when I get scared and lose faith in myself, you believe in me and give me strength to keep going. No matter what, you’re there for me. Even when I attack you or constantly break down, you’re there; even when we’re fighting, you let me know you believe in me—in us—and that you won’t give up.

This past month I have been all over the place, physically and emotionally, and you have been there for me every step of the way. Thank you will never be enough to express all my gratitude for all that you have done for me. But, it’s a start.

After all, we have the rest of our lives together for me to express just how grateful I am to have you in my life.

Anonymous asked: I would love to know more about you, like if I could say pick your brain and you thoughts on love and life? Does that make sense? I hope lol.. But you seem so intelligent and I can tell you just love your boyfriend to death.. but I honestly thouhht you would say your young and you have no idea what love is because everyone always tells me that... Ugh.. It's quite annoying.. I just feel like no one is ever going to know how I feel.. But tell me about you (:

Haha, thank you for the compliment. And yes, I do adore my boyfriend most ardently.

And to be honest, it isn’t my place, or really any one’s place, to tell you what YOUR feelings are. We have our opinions, but that’s all we have. Yes you are young, but it doesn’t dismiss that you, too, are capable of feeling things such as love. It may be young love, but it is love. Love is love; it develops, it grows. It may be a passing phase, but that doesn’t make it any less genuine. Some people rush into relationships just to be in one when you’re young and that’s normally why people discriminate young love. It’s like online or long distance relationships, they have a stigma, too. There will always be naysayers. If they think you’re making a mistake, then let them think so. We have choices. We make decisions. We grow up, but we have the choice of letting others influence how we are shaped. I guess in short, it’s your life to live, to love, to learn.

I’m quite horrible at talking about myself, ha. Like you, I have a close relationship with my mom. She raised my brothers and I on her own, which I would think had a great influence to how I am now. I had to grow up fast to help her raise my brothers (despite being the middle child). I’m an active individual, and like to keep busy a lot of the time. Not sure what else to say, so… I guess that’s it for now? Unless there is something specific you would like to ask.

(Oh, and when you respond, feel free to ‘submit’ it. Ask doesn’t allow many characters for a good response.)

Anonymous asked: This really isn't an ask, but I would just like too say your blog is beautiful.. Your writing, your story, your relationship just sounds so amazing.. I know long distance relationships aren't always amazing because I have one myself... But you, just never seem to have a horrible day do to your boyfriend.. I hope you guys have a long and happy life together.. (:

Whoever you are, thank you. Thank you for taking the time to send me this message and the kind words in it. I truly appreciate it.

I confess that we do have our bad days where my boyfriend and I give each other a hard time and we fight, but in the end, we always remember to fight even harder for each other. Long distance can be difficult, but with hard work, undying patience, and unconditional love and trust, it can be one of the most beautiful relationships.

This is our story, we are in control of what we write on these pages. Remember that happily ever afters also face their own obstacles and it is in overcoming them that makes the story beautiful. Don’t ever be deterred if your relationship faces hiccups from time to time nor be frightened of them. They are what will make you two stronger in the end.

I wish you the same long and happy life with yours. And if you ever want or need to talk to someone about anything, please don’t hesitate to send me an ask. Anon or not. :]

I want, I need, but I can’t have

I want everything to be alright. But nothing is. And I need you.

I need you to stroke my hair and kiss the top of my head. I need you to laugh at me as you wipe away my tears; to look me in the eyes and tell me I’m being silly for crying. I need you to wrap your arms around me and hold me tight, reassuring me that everything is going to be okay, that you’re always going to be here for me.

I need you more than ever. But I can’t have you. And it hurts.